I am an introvert. Yet I have spoken all over the world and love communicating to large groups of people. And I have built multiple successful businesses because of how I learned to influence with integrity through specific communication strategies.
I am the middle child of 8 kids. When I grew up I was never one to speak up unless I was spoken to. If you would have told me that speaking with small and large groups of people every week was going to be my gifting, I would have thought you were crazy. But it turns out we now know why introverts are typically better communicators.
Research shows that understanding your audience and speaking directly to their needs is the key to your success with influence. Introverts have a knack for this because we are wired to listen and understand before speaking. A habit I acquired early in life is now called “listening with your eyes”. When you listen, and the person that is speaking really feels you actually care, it increases their oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is the trust hormone.
If you can increase their oxytocin with your communication, your likelihood of them believing and buying from you sky rockets!
Most introverts also tend to be more analytical. Their analytical perspective helps them take a unique and differentiated approach to a topic or concept. After careful consideration and calculation, they are ready to share their unique and differentiated perspective. This is important because the human brain is wired to pay special attention and give credit towards something that is new or novel. Brain scientists call this “contrast”. The brain loves contrast. Introverts have the ability to bring something new and novel to their audience which grabs attention and builds immediate value.
On the other hand, extroverts can often come across as egotistical and “in it for the sale”. I am not suggesting they are, but they come off that way because the buyer in the new economy does not want to be sold so the guard stays up until we give them a reason to bring it down. The old salesman of the 80’s and 90’s was pictured as being loud, extroverted, and a bit sneaky or manipulative to get what they want instead of what is in the client or customer’s best interest. Being likable and listening to their needs is one of the best ways to bring the guard down and increase their oxytocin levels.
Three key take aways to be more like an introvert with your influence:
- Listen with your eyes – actually listen to understand your potential client or customer’s needs.
- Use the FORD method to find a connecting point of commonality – Ask them about their (F)amily, (O)ccupation, (R)ecreation, or (D)reams. The key to this is being authentic…actually care!
- Carefully consider and communicate why your service, product, or offer is unique and distinct. This will reach the buyer’s brain as something new and novel, immediately increasing its value in their mind.
PS… If you are an introvert, make sure you realize, emphasize, and lean into your unique ability to influence and persuade because of your personality and characteristics.